The Anticipation of Colors
by Dried-Asparagus
Summary: Naruto just wanted a peaceful morning smoking on his balcony. He never expected a murder scene from the single mother's apartment above.
1. The Incident

So in this old tiny building, his apartment was a story upstair from Naruto's apartment.

From the beginning, they were not related to each other in any sort of way, existed in this life like two separated beings with two separated rooms and two separated balconies, lying parallel to each other without a known intersection. Naruto knew him and he could have known Naruto just as well, that was each other's name in tons of names being signed up in this building and that was all.

No, Naruto knew about him a little more than he knew about Naruto. His name was always being mentioned in the hallway gossips that Naruto himself never seemed to care, but enough for the thirty-three year-old man to know he was a scandalous person. Such a shame. He always heard loud arguments and smashing noises came from above the ceiling, but not enough for Naruto to care because that was just something so ordinary in this rotten place called a residential building. And in this cramped, noisy place that had already squeezed Naruto enough - he was only someone else.

Maybe what made him special was that he lived right above.

One morning, Naruto went to the balcony for some cigarettes. There was a heavy rain last night that soaked the floor in pools of water and uncomfortable dampness under his bare feet. Drops of water felt cool on his fingers as he stroked his little plant's leaves. He blew the smoke into the air, leaning on his balcony to gaze at the street. It was still too early, the sky had not yet turned white as calm blue covered it in a sad, stilled atmosphere. As if everything had been too tired to wake and move.

When he lifted the cigarette to his mouth, Naruto noticed an unordinary pinkness covered his forearm. Then he came to realize it was everywhere - on the balcony, on the floor, on his feet. A red metallic drop fell on his forehead, ran a straight line down to his nostril. He knew it immediately.

Blood.

His head turned to the balcony above. A limp, pale arm hung on top of a white blanket soaked with a wet circle of red.

Naruto blinked, walking inside to call the police.

Two weeks had passed since _the murder_, but the gossips hadn't seem quite faded off the hallway yet. People talked so loud that Naruto knew most of the story even when he didn't mean to hear it.

_"You know what?_ _"_ The lady asked. _"That was a boy. He gave birth to a baby boy few days after court. Poor child. Too bad his mother killed someone when he was pregnant with him, and gave birth to him after being tried."_

_"I heard that was only self-defense." _Another person said. _"That's why they still let him live here."_

_"Oh come on! You know they're so desperate to have someone hire these old cracking rooms they'd easily pass on everything. I heard the guy lives across my apartment used to be arrested for selling drugs, for God's sake! Can't believe that slut. I mean, that eight-teen year-old slut came here pregnant without a father to his child so it's not possible he had something good on his mind either, right?"_

Oh, how much he hated these people. Wicked hell of the neighbors with their whole life bored and vulgar like dusts on the street, with no accomplishment in life and neither themselves were even moral people. They were buried within this rotten place so long their soul blended into each other... Into a mess of lame humans with tongues sharp as knife as the only weapon and the only entertainment they had, poking at the ones they viewed as the "lesser people" so as to forget how low was the ground they stood. These people disgusted him more than the building itself did, but then - he himself was nonetheless as bad.

Then the second time flew into like a huff of wind. That was at midnight of the weekend and Naruto was enjoying his long deep sleep after a long week of hard working. Suddenly, loud infant cries echoed through his ceiling and woke him up. He groaned, hoping some neighbors upstairs would come over to complain. But the cries lasted for a very, very long time. Longer than a child should be crying before having their mother checking up on them, and the mother's usual hurried footsteps couldn't be heard.

Something was wrong.

Naruto couldn't sleep. It seemed like he was the only person who heard it. He angrily put on his jacket as he went outside and upstairs. The hall was dark and empty, silent with none of the cries could be heard. Naruto was truly the only one.

He knocked several times on the door and waited, but nobody answered. Naruto was in his temper of being woke so he slammed hard on the wooden panel and the door just slipped open. It was not locked. Cold air flew out and touched his skin as he looked inside the apartment lit with little light. The cries came to his ears, so miserable and violent it somehow got into him and just magically dragged his feet inside without him knowing, because the current Naruto was not the kind that wanted to get into trouble.

He followed the cries and the source of light into a room. There, for the first time he met his neighbor.

A small, skinny figure with messed raven hair lied face down, half out of his blanket and unmoving with an infant covered in a mountain of clothes lied next to, crying loudly. Naruto shook the boy because he knew there was no way the raven could be conscious after all of his waiting, knocking and entering into his house. The boy felt hot to the touch despite the chilled air in this room and did not wake no matter how hard he shook him. He turned the raven up, touching his hot forehead and noticed his shallow breathing. Naruto fish out the phone he managed to grab when he left and dialed the emergency number.

"There's a person fainting right here." He told them after they answered. "I think he's having a terrible cold. He's extremely hot to the touch and..."

Charcoal eyes snapped open almost made him threw his phone. Pale hand weakly reached up, tremblingly touching the wrist that was holding the boy in his lap. "Don't..."

"What?" Naruto dumbly asked because he couldn't hear the faint whisper.

"Don't... Call... Please, stop it." He heard the boy said. "Please... Can't... Afford more."

Naruto signed and ended the call. Normal people would have said that life matter more than money, but that was when they haven't seen the bill after they got out of the hospital yet. This boy just begged him.

"Stay here. I'll get you some medicine."

He went right to his room downstairs because searching for medicine would take time. As Naruto walked, he hoped the boy was only having a cold because how much responsibilities he would hold after he fed a stranger in an emergency state his leftover cold medicine. Hell, he could even go to jail after this. Maybe he just woke up so his mind hadn't been working right, because right now he was out of his mind.

Naruto took the medicine on his table and ran upstairs. He helped the raven sit up and let him take the medicine, then tried to help him lie back down but the raven refused. The blond realized the baby hadn't stopped crying since he came. The raven tried to cradle the infant in his arms and lifted his shirt up to feed him.

As he fed his child, the eight-teen year-old glared at him. "Who are you?"

"I'm Naruto, your neighbor downstairs. Your child cried so loud and I couldn't sleep so I just went to knock at your door, and you didn't lock it so it just slipped open. Do you believe all of that?"

The raven boy said nothing, but he let his child lied over his shoulder and patted its back. After the infant burped and felt asleep, the raven kissed the child's forehead and laid them in that mountain of clothes again. "You're the one who called the police before." He suddenly said.

"I did." He said. "Sorry for the bills."

Because they did not only find the body on the balcony, but also the boy lying on the floor inside the house with a bleeding forehead and injured body.

"Thanks." The raven said blankly. Of course he was not grateful, Naruto guessed.

"Why are you covering the child in so much clothes?"

"My heater just broke." He admitted.

Naruto noticed the boy didn't have anything much around. Perhaps the reason could have something to do the smashing sounds he heard. In fact, the raven was sleeping on the floor with nothing but a thin blanket and gave the small sleeping mat and the pillow to his child. Imagine sleeping on the hard floor after going through labor, Naruto knew his back must felt really crappy by the way he sat.

So Naruto went downstairs and grabbed the old heater he didn't use anymore, a spare fluffy sleeping mat, a blanket and a pillow. That should be working just fine. When Naruto was trying to plug the heater in, he saw the raven changed the infant's mat with the fluffy one and wrap the blanket around it, while himself slept on the thin mat. What a good mother, too bad Naruto didn't have another spare mat.

Before he shut the light off and stepped out, he heard the boy said. "Thank you."

Maybe up until now, he had never done anything that made him feel as good as tonight.

Naruto made some soup for him and the raven because the boy hadn't got better enough to eat solid food yet.

He brought the small pot upstairs and put the soup into two bowls. Bringing it into the raven's room, he stepped in just to saw the raven lying there, stroking his son's hair.

"Menma cried really hard last night, right?" He whispered softly. "Mommy is so sorry, mommy tried to come by Menma but he just couldn't get up."

"I'm sorry, dear. I won't let that happen again." He said finally and kissed his infant's forehead. The infant squirmed around then grabbed the raven's pinky finger curiously, making him smiled.

Naruto decided that was the time for him to step in. He sat down, placed a bowl in front of him and handed the raven the other. "You should eat something. I made soup."

The raven hesitantly accepted the bowl and blew the hot soup to cool it down, then took a sip. He exhaled contently, happy with having the soup warmed his body up and filled his stomach after two days of emptiness. Uncontrolled, the boy held the bowl with two hands and downed the soup in one big gulp in front of Naruto's widened eyes.

_He must be really hungry. _Naruto thought. "Want another bowl?"

The raven realized what he had just done and blushed deeply in embarrassment, making the blond chuckle. "It's okay, I know I'm a good cooker." He said and went outside to prepare another serving.

When the raven finished his third bowl, since Naruto said he wanted to empty the pot for washing, he suddenly asked. "Why are you helping me so much?"

"Because your door was opened and I am your neighbor." The blond said while gathering the bowls for washing. "Anybody who went to your door instead of me would have done this, too."

The raven went stiff for a moment, then whispered quietly. "No, they didn't."

The blond head went up. "Pardon? The bowls were making so much noises I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing." He carried the infant up to his chest. "Just... Thank you so much."

"It's just a coincidence, Sasuke. There's nothing to thank me about it."

Sasuke was surprised at Naruto calling him by his first name, but he figured it out that Naruto knew his name like Sasuke did. _Or probably from the other neighbors, _he thought. But then the raven suddenly snapped out of his thoughts and remembered that it was the usual time Menma got his meal. How could he forgot his child's meal time? He was such a terrible mother. "Sorry, but I have to feed him. It's his meal time now."

"Oh, sorry. I'll go now." The blond quickly grabbed the stuff and went out, making the raven chuckled lightly. Though there's nothing embarrassed in breast-feeding a baby, the blond had probably forget he sat there and watched the raven fed last night.

Sasuke held Menma up in one arm, since he had gotten so used to carry a baby, and lifted his pajama shirt with the other. Lightly pressed his child to his chest, he smiled looking at the infant instinctively found their way to his nipple. Menma had been almost two weeks old but yet Sasuke couldn't stop admire this every time he fed his child. It was something so instinctive, something that showed the incredible bond between a child and its mother and whispered to Sasuke every time that this was real, that Menma was a part of his blood and bones that he carried and gave birth to, lying right here in his arms. _His, _and he would never lose it. _Never._

Sasuke stared up at the ceiling, confused with thoughts. Being a eighteen-year-old who barely finished high school and had a child, Sasuke tried to work hard and traced out a safe line for him and Menma. He had several temporary jobs and earned just enough before proving his ability to be approved for a stable office job in a small company, in which he intended to switch into right after he left. He had insurance and a home he hired for a very cheap price. He got no bad credit and a save for his labor and maternity leave. Sasuke was so ready to bring his child into this world and provide it a good life, because he had been all prepared.

Then it was a chain reaction and that fucking bastard was the start.

The _incident_ made Sasuke lose all the jobs because the customers knew the stories and they didn't want to be near _a killer, _as they called him, whether that person killed on a deliberate intention or not. That led to him also lost the office job so now he was completely unemployed with only the monthly aid from the former orphanage to hold on. Unfortunately, most of that money was used to pay the rent and the least-covered giant bills he got from the ambulance and the labor after, because too many problems happened at once made his insurance coverage went down terribly and he hadn't been able to pay insurance's and other bills yet.

_With debts lying on his back heavier than ever, Sasuke was stuck. The events made his labor hard and long, his body hadn't recovered fully. He couldn't walk right, his body always felt sore and cold with bone-deep pains every night._

_As if all of Sasuke's strength had been sucked out, after a few days of struggling his body gave up, unmovable. The bastard destroyed most of his belongings so he laid on the floor with a jacket draped over him, unable to get up and eat. Numb. Sore. Cold. He almost cried but he just couldn't, his tears dried from a long time ago. _

Everything was so gray and dark. Like it had always been.

_Sasuke was about to fall into the peaceful darkness, forever forgotten nor longing to this world. His breath so shallow below his nose, his soul was leaving. 'Is this my end?' Sasuke thought. 'Sure.'_

_'But I can't leave yet.'_

Then Sasuke saw a speck of color.

And he woke up.

Naruto needed to buy some groceries so he went out. As soon as the blond left, Sasuke immediately locked his apartment's door. Menma's taking a short nap after meal so he'd have some time for himself.

As Sasuke stood, his whole body felt so sore and painful. His legs trembling vigorously and his head felt so dizzy. Still, the raven told himself he shouldn't be wasting time and grabbed some clean clothes, almost struggled to get into the bathroom. He took his small pocket knife out of his pajama before stripping himself and had a quick morning routine. When Sasuke finished, he put the knife in the pocket of his clean clothes and headed out.

When Sasuke was sixteen, he secretly bought a pocket knife and hid it deep inside his bag full of beers. He never left it since then. It did little to protect him, as a small pocket knife always did, but it brought him a feeling of safety. Like a little charm, because whenever he didn't have it with him _things _always happened.

In this situation, he knew he had no option but to depend on this stranger. Sasuke could have died if the blond hadn't came over; and it was either Sasuke was lucky, or either he owed Naruto a life.

Still, he'd not trust him. He trusted nobody and for eternity, none but himself.

Sasuke went inside the room to change Menma's diaper and clean him, then dressed his baby into new clothes. All the while, he did everything gently and in complete silent because the infant was still asleep and his son was a light-sleeper.

Sasuke believed it was his fault that Menma's sleep was so easy to be disturbed. He had plenty of anxiety attacks during pregnancy and Menma was actually born almost half a month premature. He was kept in NICU for nine days before early release since his son was "a pretty healthy premature baby." But still, the raven had been told to supervise his child's smallest behaviors - there could be future chances of mental and physical health problems due to premature birth. Sasuke was very sad to know that, he had made his son's life imperfect just because he wasn't strong enough. He almost lost him once.

But Sasuke immediately bit his lips to get rid of the thoughts and went out to unlock the door. In a second, he was back into his bedroom and lied down, thinking of other things to make these thoughts go away. They always lowered his mood and with bad mood he couldn't do anything right; he had been through enough to know that for sure.

Sasuke actually wanted to do some houseworks but his whole body ached even when he was lying down. So charcoal eyes closed. They fell into a dreamless pit of comfort.

It was almost seven in the evening. The dark road was lit with several lamp posts and there were a few people passing by, bringing in this almost quiet, timid feeling of a silent evening.

Naruto walked down the road with a packet of cigarettes he had just bought in his pocket. He arrived underneath the apartment building, pulling out a cigarette and lightened it while looking upon the building. In the morning, this was a dirty, old building with gray walls and pieces of clothes hanging on the balconies as if the building and the people itself were from decades ago. Seemed to be bored with time. But at night, the walls reflected the reddened sky from air pollution and the balconies unseen. Small rectangular windows lit with white light and occasionally, colored light, laid flashing and plain, with shadows of people living inside doing things like bees in a hive. Something so calm, so irritated with time and comfortable at the same moment.

Naruto could have afforded a better home. Sure, he hated his neighbor and was not particularly keen on the place, but every evening he walked underneath it like this, he remembered the reason he chose this place. It... matched him somehow. The place. Matched his color and set his soul at peace. Every small window flashing like a human's life, and behind every frame was a story untold and unknown, buried deep behind the thin dusty glass and the white simple light. It was the people's feelings that made up this place. The bruised, worn out feelings.

Then he suddenly thought of the raven boy and looked at his window. Seemed like the raven didn't switch the light up, for whatever reason he knew he would not take time to guess. The boy was one of the ones that had a story behind the frame, but it was hanging above his head all the time without his attention. Then suddenly, he cared.

Sasuke Takai, an eighteen-year-old boy who moved into the apartment above six months ago. Nobody cared about him at first, but after two months he became the hot topic of the building for being pregnant without a partner.

Then several months after, he heard they claimed having several strange men asked about his place, and following that was a rumor about him doing prostitution.

Finally three weeks ago, Sasuke Takai killed a man out of defense as he broke into Sasuke's home at night and tried to kill him with a gun, after beating the teenager violently.

The man must have been a robber or some psychopath, that was what the ladies said. Police didn't release much information and he must have been the only witness, but by the time the event occurred Naruto was dead asleep and the rain was heavy outside.

Still, Sasuke practically won the case. They did not even need Naruto in court and Sasuke was free of everything.

But that did not change the fact that Sasuke killed a man. Rumors spread and reshaped into something else in the neighborhood's mouth and made Sasuke the criminal. Naruto knew Sasuke would never be such one; he knew for sure that police were more professional in investigation than his neighbors, and if Sasuke was set completely free then he was completely innocent. The only thing that made Sasuke a criminal should be the people around him.

The next morning, Naruto suddenly felt the urge to stop by and check how the raven was doing. He brought some medicine and went to the raven's door, knocking on the wooden panel.

The door opened to him for the first time. A tired looking Sasuke peeked behind the least-opened door, then stepped out completely when the raven realized who that was. "Naruto."

"Hi, I'm bringing you some medicine. Have you gotten better yet?"

"Sure, I have. I-" He suddenly turned at the crying sound. "Wait a moment, please."

Sasuke almost ran inside at his son's crying sound, leaving the door open. Naruto just stood there, gripping the medicine in his hand. Maybe he should leave it at the doorstep and walk away, but the tiring look on the teen's face held the blond's feet back. He knew he shouldn't put his nose too deep into other's business, but clearly the raven may need help. After all, he was only a teenager and he was sick, Naruto told himself.

The raven came back after a while, anxiety clearly showed on his face as he carried his son out. "Thank you." He said as he received the medicine from Naruto.

"Is he okay?"

"He has been uneasy since last night and he kept crying. I don't know what's wrong."

"Maybe he was just having his fussy week. You should carry him a l...Whoah!" His voice raised as Sasuke's feet stumbled and the blond managed to catch him before he fell to the floor. The raven's brows knitted in pain as his arms instinctively did their best to keep the infant from falling out. "Sasuke, what's the matter?" Naruto asked.

"Cra... Cramp... Aah!" The teen groaned as pain filled his body again, one arm went down to hug his abdominal while he breathed heavily.

"Let's get inside. Give your son to me, I'll hold him."

"No!" Sasuke hugged the infant tightly to his chest and raised his voice at the thought of someone wanting to touch his child. He then realized what he had done and lowered his tone. "I mean... I'm fine... I can hold him. Thank you."

"Of course, do you want me to walk you inside?" Naruto offered the trembling raven and he nodded hesitantly, letting the blond draped his arm around Sasuke's shoulder and helped him inside. He brought the teen to his sleeping mat and helped him lie down, then dragged the other mat over for the raven to set his child in.

"I'll get you some painkillers." The older went out and downstairs to his apartment. He took the painkiller bottle but it was empty, so blue eyes glazed over the kettle on the kitchen. Naruto heated the water to make coffee minutes before he went upstairs so pretty sure it was still warm enough. The blond hurriedly took the thermos bottle he had to bring coffee to work, and poured some water in. To his expectation, it was hot.

He came back to Sasuke's apartment and handed him the bottle. "Sorry, I've ran out of painkillers. Hold this to your abdominal. It shall help soothing the pain while I go to buy some painkillers."

The raven groaned some more when he was in the midst of thanking him, then nodded weakly as a response. "C... Could you buy me some pads, too?"

"S... Sure." Naruto said and went downstairs, to his apartment for the keys then down and out. The pharmacy wasn't far but he wanted to be quick so the blond drove, slightly feeling nervous about this. He knew a little about these cramps but he had never knew it could be that painful. Maybe there was something different and wrong about Sasuke's cramp.

The blond wondered whether Sasuke should take painkillers instead of seeing a doctor, but seeing the teen's painful expressions and knowing that he couldn't afford any treatment made Naruto put those ideas away.

He came back after a while with a small bag in his hand, full with painkillers and pads he bought for the raven. When Naruto went inside the apartment, the blond got slightly nervous when he saw Sasuke gripped the pillow tightly with a painful expression on his face. He dropped the bag to the floor and rushed to the kitchen for a glass of water, then handed the water and painkillers to the raven.

A moment after taking it, Sasuke's expression eased and he laid flatly on his mattress, looking at his child. Somehow, the raven had managed to calm the baby down while he was away and now Menma was asleep.

"That looks serious." Naruto said it finally. "I don't think painkillers is enough."

"It's just postpartum pain..." He whispered weakly. "...will go away in days."

"I don't think postpartum pain should last that long." He nervously scraped through the blond locks.

"Mine is just... abnormal."

Then they both went silent as the sun hid away and sunlight dropped behind the old window. The air went cold and the sky was dark, then all of a sudden thunder struck audibly. Drops of water fell to the ground, jumped onto the balcony and into the window of his flat. More and more of them fell until the point that it was raining with cool, thumping sound could be heard from inside the thin walls. Weak, gray light shone upon the teenager's face. His gaze sad and unreadable, staring at the heavy rain outside of his window.

"Do you want to eat something?"

Sasuke turned his head to look at him, lightly shook it. He didn't think about it before, but now to him it seemed wrong. Unsuitable, like a puzzle piece placed in the wrong space. Or maybe he just didn't know.

"I'm fine." He said softly. "Because I appreciate everything you've done, I'm telling you this. Don't... Just don't get involve with a person like me. You shouldn't. "

Azure eyes dazed over the small figure. "Why shouldn't I?"

"You know they whisper."

"Right." Blond head lowered. There was an amused hint in his voice as he spoke with closed eyes. "And why should I care?"

"Your family." He said. "Your family will get in trouble for this."

Azure eyes snapped open, staring widely at Sasuke. "What?"

The golden ring was missing on his finger. Everyone in this building did not know about him more than a single man and Sasuke barely knew him at all. "How could you...?"

"Everything you did." He said, charcoal eyes staring at him. "They told me you knew more than what a single man could ever knew."

Well, he couldn't help it. It was merely nature, some pieces of memories left went alive and pulled the strings on his limbs.

"No." Naruto whispered in a small smile. "No, they don't live here anymore."

"She's living on the other side of the city. At her parent's house. With our son."

There was a moment of awkward silent between them before Naruto switched topic. "So how old is your son, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't know how could he say sorry to the blond, so he just flowed with him. "Almost two weeks old." He said, gently rustling the infant's crown.

Just like Sasuke, Menma was born with a thin mess of raven hair that possibly inherited from his mother. His eyes, on the other hand, was completely different. Naruto had seen the baby's eyes and he did not pay much attention to it before, but now when he came to think about it, that should be the clearest trait Menma had from his father: green eyes.

"Menma Takai, huh?" The name sounds pretty strange on Naruto's lips. "That's a name, Takai-kun."

"Just Menma." Sasuke corrected him. "And please don't call me by my last name."

"Oh, sorry." The blond quickly apologized. "Have your pain eased yet?"

"It's still a little sore but I'm fine by now." Sasuke tried to sat up but failed. He helplessly looked at the low table on the other side of the room. "Could you take the book over there for me?"

Naruto sat up to take the book and handed it to Sasuke. He opened it, took out the thin stack of low-value bills he put in his book and handed it to Naruto. "I'm sorry but this is all I have right now. I will give more back to you right when I have the money."

"No, you don't have to pay anything back." Naruto pushed the pale hands away. "I'm just helping you out. Neighbors with neighbors."

"Please... Just take it." He tried to shove the money into Naruto's lap but the blond grabbed his money and put it onto the table.

"No. I'm not doing this so you'll owe me." He hardened his voice. "Please stop trying to pay me back."

"I..." Sasuke's voice slowly faded into the air. Even if he had pay back, these the last bills he had in his pocket. His head went low when he said quietly. "Thank you."

Menma stirred, hands covered in tiny mittens wiggled slightly. Dark green eyes fluttered open then closed as his brows knitted together in displeasure. Small sobs made Sasuke worry and sat up but a loud groan escaped from his mouth as he fell back down. Naruto knew the raven did not feel safe having him carried his son, so he went behind Sasuke and helped the boy get up and leaned on his chest for support. Sasuke, though surprised and a bit resisted, simply let him do that because he had no other choice. He picked the infant up and softly rocking him in his arm, soothingly whispered. "There, there... Mommy is here."

The infant cried less and fell back to sleep after a while. The raven signed, gently put the baby back in his blanket and pulled his body from Naruto's chest to lie down again.

Naruto could feel how skinny Sasuke was when his body contacted his. He clearly felt the raven's shoulder and back bones pressed into his chest over his shirt, his postpartum belly was just at the five-month-size. Even his child did not look not as big as other babies, he was small and Naruto wondered if that'd affect the infant's growth in the future.

"How old are you, Sasuke?" Naruto found himself blurted out these words before he could stop it. "No, I mean..."

"Eighteen." He said blankly. "I'm not ashamed of that, you don't have to be sorry."

"I..." He was confused. "Giving birth must have been hard, right?"

The blond tried to switch topic, but he ended up making it even worse.

"Hardest thing in the world." Sasuke's lips curved up slightly, his voice went soft as he looked at his child. "It was worth it, though."

"Did the doctor tell you what went wrong? Perhaps... Any postpartum traces?"

"It was just a premature birth. I'll be fine." His voice affirmed everything into its place

Naruto gazed the rain absentmindedly. The water was slamming into the window, just like that day in his flat when Hinata confessed to him, eyes swollen with tears.

_"Naruto... I'm... I'm pregnant."_

"I think I'll make us some food." Naruto snapped himself out of his thoughts and stood up, headed to the kitchen. "You should take a nap, Sasuke. You look really tired."

"Thank you but I'm not. Besides, I can't really sleep right now." Naruto responded with a nod and went out.

Naruto made some soup for both of them and they ate together. Neither of them had something to talk about, except stupid questions about the weather and the road, so most of the time they ate in silent. Naruto cleaned up everything afterwards and washed the dishes. It was nearly five in the afternoon so the blond figured he should dump the garbage anyway.

He pulled the little garbage bags in the corner out and started grouping them, recyclable and non-recyclable. There was a little pile of papers in one bag, consisted mostly of leaflets and advertising magazines, and Naruto wanted to group it with the plastic bottle bag. When he took the pile out, some pieces fell off and slipped onto the floor. Groaning, the blond bent down to gather them, but before his hand touched one particular piece of paper, the handwriting on it caught his eyes.

_Sasuke, my sweetheart._

_I love you dearly. I cannot live without you. Not like this._

_Please come back to me. I promise I'll find a way for us. We could begin again, with our child, as a family. _

The rest of the page was ripped off. While the blond was in the middle of putting the page back into the pile, a silky, low voice caught his attention.

"Sweet, right?" Sasuke asked bitterly. Naruto turned around to see the raven stood there, leaning on the wall.

"Sasuke..." He said, reached out his hand to give the raven the letter.

Sasuke came forward and took the paper from him. He held it angrily, making the paper crumbled under his fingers. "You believe them." He mumbled to himself he ripped it into pieces. "Until you see what they truly are."

He threw the pieces into the garbage bag and carried them to the door. Although the blond didn't want him to move when he hadn't got better yet, he did nothing to stop the raven. He didn't want Naruto to see things he was hiding.

Sasuke came back and washed his hands, but the blond could see those pale hands trembling. His dark eyes full of unreadable thoughts.

He thought the raven might need space, so he decided to leave.

"Rest well, Sasuke." Naruto said before he went out of the door.


	2. The Nightmare

The busy days later made him stop worrying about Sasuke. He was overwhelmed with the massive amount of work assigned for this week that whenever the blond came home, his mind had already been filled with the need to sleep. He checked up on the raven a few times but they were so quick all he had was his voice speaking from inside, telling him the raven was fine before Naruto came back to his apartment with his eyes barely opened.

The groceries he bought for Sasuke could last at least two. At least the raven was able to cook, right?

But at six in the Friday's evening, the answer to his question was no. What was he thinking; Sasuke could barely get up on his own, let alone cooking. And with that, Naruto rushed upstairs.

The familiar door opened, revealed a familiar teen holding a familiar infant. "What's the matter, Naruto?"

"I..." He mumbled, scolded himself for coming here without thinking thoroughly. "I just want to see if you are okay."

"Sure, I'm doing well. Thank you." Silky voice said while he gently rocked his child. The blond doubted him. Sasuke always told him that whenever he asked if he was okay.

"Glad to hear that."Just when Naruto was about to leave, Sasuke opened the door wider and gestured inside. "Have you had dinner yet? Come in, we're having one."

It was okay if he wanted to confirm his doubt, right? Besides, he hadn't had dinner yet.

"S... Sure." He answered, followed Sasuke inside.

The raven led him to a round, low table in the living room which he had never seen in this house. The legs looked foldable so he guessed Sasuke must had put it away before. Nevertheless, Naruto had only seen him eating in his bedroom.

Sasuke put the food into bowls and plates and served it onto the table. The food looked simple with little ingredients, but its smell had the blond secretly drooling.

"Itadakimasu." They said and took their first bite. Naruto blinked when the food dissolved in his mouth because Sasuke was really, really good at cooking. and ate some more. Sasuke held Menma in one arm with practical ease, and carefully ate his food with the other.

"Why don't you put him down?" Naruto asked. The raven shook his head and looked at the infant. "He'll get really fussy if I don't hold him."

The blond nodded. He looked at Sasuke, then gazed the table in front of him. It'd been so long since he had eaten with anyone. The smell of food, or only the presence of Sasuke and his child was enough to warm his chest up and that made Naruto smiled.

The raven saw that. "Do you want some more?" He asked, about to stand up to take more food for Naruto but the blood refused. "No, I'm okay."

"Did you have any more cramps, Sasuke?" The raven shook his head.

"I hadn't." He answered quickly. "How was your week?"

"Tired." Naruto sighed. "I hate this job."

"What is your job?" Sasuke asked, then grabbed the last piece of his food.

"I'm an accountant." He said. "Well, not really. They hired me as an accountant but I was doing all the works. Accounting, listing... Sometimes making coffee if there's a company's partner coming by."

"You must be really good at math." Dark eyes looked at him almost amusingly.

"I'm suck at it." The blond shrugged. "But my calculator is smart. That's all you need."

Sasuke chuckled and that was the first time Naruto saw him smile. He looked nice smiling.

"How had your mini version been? He was still in his fussy period, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is." Sasuke smiled at the infant in his arms and green eyes blinked. "Hey, I'm just telling him the truth."

"He'll soon grow out of it." The blond said. "Then it'll be the period where he rolls and crawls all over the house."

"I'd love to see him do that." The raven chuckled and gathered the dishes with one hand, but Naruto stopped him. "Let me do it."

"No, you have washed the dishes before. I can do it now." Sasuke said and continued with the dishes but the blond looked at Menma. "Let me wash the dishes while you feed Menma. He's hungry."

"His meal time is in the next thirty minutes." The raven looked at the clock. "And how could you know he's hungry? He's not crying."

"It's my sixth sense." Naruto smirked. "I always know when a baby is hungry."

"Okay..." Sasuke looked at him unbelievingly, but he still brought the dishes to the sink and grabbed the small blanket on the chair. While Naruto was washing, he covered himself and Menma with the blanket to keep both of them warm and lifted his shirt. Unlike his expectation, the infant refused the nipple placed at his mouth and turned his head away. "Naruto..."

He heard Naruto laughed uncontrollably behind his back. "Oops. Maybe my sixth sense is taking its day off."

"I'm sure your wife didn't let you feed your child." He knew Sasuke was joking but deep inside the blond's laugh slowly died off. What left was only plain laugh without amusement so Sasuke would not take it to himself.

"Yes, she did." He said between giggles. "Boruto's daddy fed him all the time." It was more like Naruto mumbled to himself rather than telling Sasuke.

"So your son's name is Boruto." The raven said, slightly rocking his child. "And you're Naruto. That's almost identical."

It was. He named his son like that in hope of Hinata would love him as much as she loved Naruto. It wasn't like she didn't like the child or anything. It was the blond having these unjustified scares. After all, he'd thought that Boruto could only trust him. "Yes, yes it is.

"To be honest, having similar name with your parents is weird." Sasuke said.

"Sure. You're Sasuke and your son is Menma. That's bamboo shoot. Very unrelated." Naruto chuckled slightly at that.

The raven was silent for a moment. "...When I was pregnant with him, Menma was his nickname because I ate it a lot and he kicked whenever I said it out loud." Sasuke was working at a ramen stall at the while and the owner often gave him the nearly expired Menma to take home. "After he was born, a nurse helped me fill out the birth certificate because I just couldn't. I was too dizzy from the labor and the medications so when she asked what his name was, Menma slipped out as a habit."

It wasn't like he had came up with an actual name, either.

"Why didn't you change it?"

"I didn't have time for that... And Menma is not a bad name. I like it. Even your name was on ramen, too."

"Aww." Naruto said while he put the last dish on the rack. "Why didn't you name him Naruto then? Naruto was much better aand we could have had identical names!"

"...Idiot." Sasuke chuckled in time with Naruto's laugh. The raven then looked at the clock and saw that it was time to feed Menma.

When Naruto turned around, he saw the raven feeding his child and quickly turned away. The blond heard silky voice spoke to him in a questioning tone, "I don't think there's anything embarrassed about this."

"I know." The blond spoke quietly. "I just don't know if you're comfortable with... me... err..."

"You can look, if you want. I'm totally okay with everything." Sasuke said calmingly. "And it's not like you have never seen breastfeeding before."

"Not for too long. Her father insisted on formula after." Up until now, Naruto had no idea why Hizashi made them do that. "We were worried about his health and tried breastfeeding after, but Boruto refused the milk. He liked the formula better, I guess."

Sasuke's lips curved up to himself at that. It wasn't like he could afford formula, so he glad Menma liked his milk. And with him hadn't been able to eat solid food yet was a relief fact added to his list. At least he could produce food for his child without worrying about the fridge, because there were days he could hardly feed himself.

When Menma finished, he cleaned the infant's mouth with a small towel and held him semi-upright, gently patting his back until a small burp could be heard. Sasuke proceeded to clean his child and when he was done, small eyelids fell down and Menma was deeply asleep.

The raven leaned down to softly kiss the infant's forehead, and walked to the bedroom to put him in his mat and blanket.

Naruto approached to gave him a cup of warm water. He switched most of the light off except the one in the kitchen and sat in front of Sasuke, outside the bedroom with a cup in his hands.

"How old are you, Naruto?" Sasuke asked all of a sudden"

"Twenty eight." The blond said, sipping his drink.

"When..." Sasuke hesitated. "When did you become a parent?"

"Near the end of my college graduation." His voice calm and low. The blond saw Sasuke's brows knitted as if he was wondering. "Yes, it was an accident."

"I'm sorry." Sasuke had been curious about parenthood, not Naruto's past and he didn't expect that.

"No, it's okay." The blond felt like telling Sasuke would drop somewhat weight off his heart, and the words came out of his mouth as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Hinata and I... We were at this college party and we were drunk." Naruto did not remember even a second of that night at his flat. He woke up with the world spinning around and, with a girl he barely knew. "We weren't dating, so we left as if nothing'd happened."

"Then somewhat months later, Hinata came over. Telling me she was pregnant with my child. We both wanted to keep the baby so her father insisted on marriage." With all that urging and demands, it felt as if it was Hizashi who got married, not his daughter.

"We did not went well with each other after that."

The marriage was exquisite and glorious, such as their life together. Sparkling as glitters and hollow as a pretty flower pot without seeds. Happiness did not bloom between them.

When Naruto turned back, the blond was surprised to see tears streaming down the raven's face. "Sasuke, are you okay?"

The raven nodded but tried to still his sob. "Did I say something wrong?" Naruto asked.

"No." His voice was shaking. "It was just me... It..."

"Why didn't I want my child?" He broke down and Naruto lightly put a hand on his shoulder. "Why would I ever... ever let people snatch him away?! I'd never want that! I'd never..." He sobbed. "He doesn't deserve a mother like me..."

"Calm down, Sasuke. It's okay now." He hesitantly patted the raven's shoulder. "You're too young so you know you can't take care of him... That's why you were so afraid of him, it's only nature. But look, you haven chosen to take care of him. He's here with you now because you love him. That makes you a good mother."

Sasuke cried and screamed as he tried to shield his belly. "Please! I beg you! Please don't hurt it!"

"Please..."

"No, Naruto. You don't understand" He said. "I..."

Then he snapped out. What was he doing? Crying to a stranger? What made he cry?

Why did he even cry?

"I'm sorry... I don't know what had gotten into me." He wiped the tears with his forehand and told him.

He calmed down after a while and Naruto realized it was almost nine, so he thought he should leave the raven. "It's late. I think it's time I gotta go."

"Oh, right." Sasuke said. "But Naruto, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what is it?" The blond stood up from his place.

"Can I borrow your newspaper?"

"Of course. Can I bring it over tomorrow?" Although Naruto didn't have any newspaper because he wasn't use to reading them, he thought he would drop by the store to get the raven some.

The raven nodded and walked Naruto to the door, watching the tall figure until it disappeared from the hallway. When the door closed behind his back, he sunk to the floor, breathing heavily as he lifted his shaky hands up and looked at it.

There was blood all over. The imaginary blood that he could still smell its metallic scent, made his guts tightened and feel like throwing up. His thighs shaking heavily, trembling as the rest of his body. Dark eyes gazed to the balcony outside the glass door.

The body was there. The body, pale and bleeding, was there.

"He's dead, remember?" He whispered to himself. "He's dead and no longer harming."

No matter how much he loved him, he killed him with these hands. Sasuke broke down into tears, curled up and hugged his abdomen as he shakily whispered.

"I killed him. I killed everyone."

When Naruto went out for groceries the next morning, he dropped by the convenience store for some newspaper for Sasuke.

"Thank you." He handed the seller some bills before walking back home.

With the two heavy bags he carried, the blond had to fiddle around in order to open the door. He carefully walked inside, dropping the bags onto the kitchen counter and sighed from relief.

Naruto put the groceries away, leaving a quarter to bring up to Sasuke later. He glanced through the newspapers he had just bought and, somehow felt curious to look through them for once.

He had a feeling the raven needed newspapers to find recruitment ads, because that was the only thing he did with newspapers back then and he was sure Sasuke was unemployed. Naruto'd chosen the ones with most recruitment ads so there wasn't much to see, only stupid gossip stories and advertisements.

When Naruto was about to give up and flipped through the third newspaper, he found a small column with a familiar line. MAN FOUND DEAD ON BALCONY.

He flipped to the page that had the article. It didn't state the address but "the apartment" where they found the body and the witness's initial, "Mr.U.", made him recognized immediately. Well, the police had talked to him in front of the door before they borrowed his balcony to climb upstairs because the front door was locked and could not be broken, so the neighbors gathered there must had heard everything. Definitely somebody around here gave up the information, or worse, wrote this article because they knew both him and Sasuke. He flipped to the front page and saw the newsroom's address. It was from around here.

According to the article, when the police went up the balcony, they found Sasuke unconsciously lying on the floor with his head injured. Naruto didn't know this because dead bodies and criminal things caused him uneasy feelings. After he let the police use his balcony, he just went inside and put on headphones to watch some stupid comedy movies, tried to distract himself from what was going on above the ceiling.

The front door was locked with plenty of furnitures, and that was weird because he remembered the raven's home as lack of furnitures. The lady lived next door to Sasuke heard something like a gunshot that night, which she'd thought as thunder at first.

The article ended with everything being investigated by the police. Naruto didn't need to know more. He took the pages that had the article and the title off, crumpled them into a ball and threw in the trash can. Then he checked the other newspapers to see if they wrote about the incident, and gathered all to bring up to Sasuke.

Sasuke's mood was a little down, but otherwise he seemed pretty fine. As usual, he never let Menma off his arms so Naruto offered to put the groceries away for him. It felt good somehow to see the raven shyly thanked him.

"You should look through the newspaper. I don't know if I've got the right ones." He said while bent down to put the vegetables in the fridge's lower compartment.

Charcoal eyes scanned through the recruitment section in the newspaper, absentmindedly biting his lips in nervousness and confusion. It was urgent for him to have a job and earn some money, but with his son being a few weeks old, still needing his mother by his side all the time and had nobody to babysit him, then going to work wasn't something Sasuke was capable of. But if he did not going to work, the answer was clear and he'd not had survived those weeks if this kind man wasn't here, helping him and giving free food. Sasuke was extremely embarrassed to be helped out so much and even if he didn't, the man could not help him forever. The raven was trapped in this situation and he felt so stressed out. He thought he would find the job first and... somehow find a way for his son.

The raven found the first suiting recruitment ad and decided to contact the employer, but his phone had broken and so was his laptop. He didn't realize Naruto had finished with the groceries and was staring at him, he almost jump when he heard the blond's voice.

"Do you... um... need a phone for that?"

Sasuke hesitantly nodded and the blond fished out his phone from his pocket, handed it to him. The screen was already unlocked and had a plain, black background without any picture. Sasuke went to the calling section and typed in the employer's number. He pressed the phone to his ears and waited, the person on the other side answered a moment later, asking what he needed.

"I saw your recruitment ad on the newspaper. I wonder if you're still looking for someone?"

"Sure, we are! My boss is currently not here so can I take your full name and number?"

"Of course! I'm Sasuke Uchiha, the number is..." Right when he was about to ask Naruto the number, the person on the other side ended the call. "What?!"

The look on Sasuke's face wasn't angry. It was simply helpless as if he was used to it. The blond came up and took a seat in front of the raven, held up the newspaper and pointed to another ad. "I think you should try this one."

They dialed the number but nobody answered. "It's okay, we got plenty of time."

Sasuke started to circle the fitted ads while Naruto called them one by one. Some of them told him they'd contact back when it was likely that they wouldn't. Some shut off and some didn't answer the phone. After twelve calls, Sasuke started to get tired and thought he should let Naruto go but the blond spoke first. "Maybe we should try somewhere further. Could you like... taking the bus?"

When he nodded, the blond flipped to another page. "How about this?"

It was an ad from a traditional restaurant. They were looking for a part time waiter in evening shifts. Naruto dialed the numbers and they both nervously waited.

"Hello?" The female voice on the other side answered, made Naruto hurriedly give the phone to Sasuke. "Hi! I saw your recruitment ad on Konoha Weekly. Are you still looking for a waiter?"

"Er... Sorry but we've already found someone..." But she left the phone and seemed to be talking to someone. "Actually, he's only a seasonal waiter so can you work next month?"

"Y... Of course I can." He answered.

"Alright. We will call you back when it's time, I've got your number already."

"Thanks..."

"Have a good day, Sasuke!" She told him and hanged up the phone.

There was a moment of silence between him before Naruto said, "That girl seems weird, to be honest."

"She does." She definitely hadn't known who he was yet. He was pretty sure once she started his history research for the hiring process, she would stop contact him immediately.

"You would." The blond claimed. "By the way, let's call some more... What the heck?" He groaned when the low-battery notice showed up. "Only 5% left?"

"I think that's enough for today, anyway." Said Sasuke. "You should charge your phone."

He placed his pinky in Menma's hand and smiled as the infant tried to grab his finger through the mitten. Green eyes blinked at his mother's smile.

"Just for you to know." Naruto smiled. "He does recognize you."

"I know." The raven lovingly stroked his child's small hand. "He also grasps everything that's put in his hands."

"Right now he could not look like what you've imagined a baby would. But trust me, he'll become irresistible few weeks from now with that grasping and big sparkling eyes he'll eventually grow into."

Sasuke held the baby to his chest, then suddenly he remembered something. "Don't you need to charge your phone?" He asked Naruto.

"Oh, right. See you then..." He said, watching the blond's slight waving.

Sasuke sat in the empty bathtub with his knees to his chest, looking up at the ceiling. He had been doing it for a while.

Menma was asleep so he had a little time washing himself, but he had done with washing. He just sat there, staring and did not realize he was doing it.

Then, his gaze ventured down to his postpartum belly, pale hand reached up to touch it. The bump had shrunk to his six-month size with stretch marks all over his abdomen, making Sasuke recalled what his doctor had told him when he first seeing them.

Never in his life the raven had known about stretch marks until he got them himself, and that made him freak out. The doctor told him he was so underweight that the sudden expanse of skin and weight gave him more stretch marks than usual. He recalled when a nurse saw his naked upper body, she'd had laughed at him and told Sasuke his marks were the weirdest she had ever seen in her whole career. The lady was taken care of after that.

He recalled feeling anxious when his child moved inside him, recalling the nights when he woke up hugging his belly tight, sweating from the nightmares of people taking his son away. These stretch marks were more than battle scars to him, carved more agonizing events than the actual scars littered his skin.

'You look so fucking ugly like that.' He said, throwing the empty beer can to the wall next to Sasuke's head. The aluminum container fell into his naked lap, droplets of blood from the newly formed injury covered the beer brand. 'Like a butchered swine.'

Sasuke stepped out of the bathroom and headed straight to his bedroom. His body was sore, all he wanted was to lie down and fall into a deep sleep.

He pulled the cover out and laid on the mat. Sasuke felt cold, not physically, so he snuggled close to Menma. Close but leaving a space so he'd not hurt the small infant.

The raven softly kissed his cheek, then pulled out to gaze at the sleeping face. The warmness radiating from Menma, probably from his affection, warmed Sasuke's chest.

His mind wandered back to the job offer, to the creepy man. Charcoal eyes looked at the small risings of the his son's chest, the peacefully closed eyes that were seeing dreams.

Of everything he'd do to keep his son safe.

Long lashes touched pale skin. Sasuke fell into his own dream.

Somehow, he knew he was the fourteen-year-old who still had to go to school as a freshman tomorrow.

Sasuke was lying on the couch, watching some stupid show without his mind really focused. He could heard the loud shouting voice coming from the kitchen and the angry crashing sounds of broken plates and glasses. He wanted to go upstairs but something stopped him from doing so, and was about to switch the channel before a hand was placed on his hip which he was so used to. "Hey there."

Sasuke turned over at him. The man's face was blurred. "What's the matter?"

"Could you buy me some beers?"

"I can't. I'm not old enough." He said. "And why beers all of the sudden?" It was the second time in the week that he'd seen him drinking that much.

"I'm just not feeling very well. And go to that store I took you to last Tuesday. They don't care about ID."

That store... It was just... Wasn't in a very friendly area. "Okay... How many do you want?"

"Five... No, make it eight." Eight!?

He pulled Sasuke up at his widened expression, into his arms and kissed his cheeks. "I've just have a bad day, dear. I need it."

"I'll go and buy them for you." He said reluctantly. The man's hold on his body tightened, his hands wandered to the places that made Sasuke uncomfortable. "Thank you, babe. You're the best."

The hold tightened and tightened, his surroundings slowly went darker. Suddenly, Sasuke was pressed hard against the couch, rough hands moved to his neck and choked him. He thrashed, he clawed. He cried, he screamed. But the blurred messes of hands and eyes stared into him, gripping and chaining his body to this place. "S... Stop..." He hoarsely tried to voice out the words, tears sprung freely from his eyes out of utter frightening. "Shut up you fucking pig." The man said and choked him even harder. He screamed out for help. He tried to scream out for help. Somebody please help him. Somebody...

Sasuke's eyes snapped open. He panted harshly, sobbing as he touched his neck and still half-thrashing. Cries of baby immediately pulled him out of illusions.

The raven turned to his son, pale arms hurriedly reached out for him and held him to his chest. He tried to hush the baby but mostly, tried to use the warmness of the infant to calm himself down. Sasuke lifted his shirt to feed him his midnight meal, and using the free arm to wipe up his tears. The raven had woken up crying from a nightmare again and he hated it every time like that.

The pain vibrated in his abdomen again. It increased every time he fed his child, but Sasuke tried to endure it. He did not have anyway around when child needed to be fed.

Sasuke reached out for the pill bottles. He burped Menma, then cleaned and changed the infant's diaper. His mini self seemed to have fallen asleep again so the raven put him back to his mattress.

Today's night was another long night.


End file.
